So I’m not usually one for tagging and the like, but this came across my youtube account from Jodi, aka VeganHippieWitch, and I felt like it was worth some time. I can’t say that I didn’t over do it, but I gave it my most modest of efforts. Enjoy…

What can I say, I’m a sucker for the sucker punch. And once again the Angry Hippie’s Comics comes out swinging and there’s no saved by the bell in this match. Volumes 12 and 13 are squaring off and taking aim on Oprah’s vegan fad and the puppets at Fox News, and they are linked below. Don’t forget you can also check out the rest of the Angry Hippie Comics on the comics page! Enjoy…

Okay. So the tomatoes were pulled and the people were scared into submitting to a tomatoeless existence until the CDC gives the all clear for the masses to remove our heads from the sand and put the other “t” back in our TLT sandwiches (the first “t” is for Tempeh…that’s common right?). Anyway, back on track. But after months and months, the threat is still out there and over a 1,000 have become ill from eating tainted veggies.

Scrambling to make sense of this outbreak, the CDC (in their infinite wisdom) have now added raw jalapeños and Serrano peppers to the potentially infected foods that consumers need to be wary of for now. Though to be fair, Serrano peppers were only added to the warning because most consumers can’t tell the difference between them. So now jalapeños have become tainted in this outbreak. And just exactly how did these vegetables become contaminated in the first place? Why it’s from animal feces tainted water supplies being used to water the plants.

But here’s the thing. What if this was planned? I know, I know. I sound like a conspiracy-minded dietary extremist hippie, but just follow me here. Several years ago, Congress passes legislation that will guarantee that all produce sold in America will not only be heavily sprayed with toxic pesticides that were once banned (and in some countries, they still are banned!), but they will also all be irradiated to guard against infection. Even the organic veggies. Now, not only will this seriously damage the food supply in America, and strip the vegetables of all of their nutritional value, but it will endanger the people. Both with the increased toxicity of our groundwater run-off and of our air as these chemicals are sprayed.

So there is outrage. And there are people who are standing against this changing tide…but nothing is done. Except, for suddenly in the past couple of years we’ve had serious outbreaks of food-borne illnesses among the vegetables. And the people are afraid. Less outrage, more frightened people looking for answers. Well, suddenly the largest of these outbreaks takes place a year before this legislation is set to take effect. Coincidence? Probably…but again, go with me.

Suddenly when the public hears of these harsher sprays to cleanse and protect their vegetables and the irradiating that will kill any bacteria on our veggies, do you think they will think about the negatives, or do you think they will sigh a breathe of relief thinking back to these mysterious vegetable illness outbreaks and go right along with this bullshit, possibly manufactured, scenario. I say, mysterious, because it’s weird how plants get tainted with an animal based infectious bacteria, almost as if it was intentional.

Who stands to gain from this? The folks that always do. Big Business.

The chemical manufacturers that can charge whatever elevated prices they want, since the processes are mandatory by law (which will further add costs to small farmers who can’t afford these new supplies and then have to sell out to the larger conglomerate farms, but I’m sure that’s just an accidental side-effect to this necessary solution for safe foods). Big Pharma who will naturally reap the rewards of the increased toxicity and the rewards of people having to buy vitamin supplements to replace the vitamins and minerals there foods will no longer contain (oops, again. Damn, irradiating, oh well, in the name of safety).

Maybe to truly be safe, we need to stop spraying more lethal substances on our foods. And we need to dismantle the Meat and Dairy industries, whose unsafe and careless behaviors and practices have polluted and tainted the water sources to begin with and caused these contaminations to spread (Not to mention it’s just good for your soul). Maybe we need to stop catering to the corporation’s yearnings for earnings and focus on keeping the water, soil, and air safe for us and our food supply.

**Excerpt from Episode 22 of the podcast**
Anyway, let’s clear things up for anyone who hasn’t quite gotten it quite yet…with a little angry hippie vocabulary lesson.

Vegetarian - Noun
A person who does not consume any animal flesh as part of their diet. It does not matter if this flesh is whole, chunked, ground up, or liquified for a nice smooth drinkable coronary, it doesn’t matter where the animal comes from either. Be it beef, pork, foul, or fish, that’s right, contrary to popular misguided idiocy, beings that were sentient in water, don’t magically become plant matter once you pluck them from their water source they just become much less sentient. Do not confuse this new subdued deathly sentience with a total lack of any sentience ever…it still once was a living, functioning, mobile, centrally nerved being. Therefore, eating any of these forms of ‘animal flesh’ is not vegetarian! Not even a fucking little bit!

Now vegetarians tend to eat cheese, which I guess, could be considered vegetarian, hell I considered it vegetarian when I was vegetarian, because I never related the fact that veal production in this country is actually related to the dairy industry. I had never made that connection and as a result, I continued to partake in a product that directly cost lives, which for me went against the whole purpose for making the change in the first place. For those of you who don’t know, cows have to have just given birth in order to produce milk….just like every species of animal that produces milk for it’s offspring. So they continue to impregnate them at every available opportunity and then they take the young baby cows and the males are shipped off crated and chained to prevent muscle development and detenderize the young calf. Then they are killed and served as veal (because you have to have some way to get rid of that excess without costing too much time and space to those in charge). Despite this fact, most vegetarians continue to eat cheese, and eggs…that’s a vegetarian.

Strict Vegetarians - extreme noun
A person who does not consume any animal flesh (no matter, as previously mentioned how it is prepared, processed, or plucked from the sea), nor do strict vegetarians consume dairy or egg products. They also limit their angsty animal cruelty exploitation evasions to their dietary intake, and continue to buy, support, and use products that are still derived from animals such as leather, wool, silk, or fur.

Vegan - hardcore noun
A person who lives their life to avoid the exploitation of animals in whatever form they find it. They try, knowing that some products aren’t derived in any other way, to keep their lives free from this kind of cruelty. I qualify this, because, as a member of modern society, we are forced to exist in a capitalistic world that works against us and our goals. The roads we drive on, the medicines that keep us well, and many other areas of our society that we depend on that will unfortunately not catch up to this point until the rest of the world makes it too unaffordable for them to continue their wicked ways. Where vegans do not compromise, for their vanity, status, or their diets! And to be clear, honey is an animal derived product that is a stored food source for a community of creatures, vegans do not eat honey!!

Anyone claiming to be any of the above, that continue to consume products that are not consumed under the above defined terms, see Bullshitatarian…

Bullshitatarian - weak-ass noun
A person who claims to be a vegetarian or vegan for purely self-congratulatory, trendy, or otherwise wankful, wise-ass purposes, but fails to meet the fairly simple and easy to live up to definitions and guidelines of said terms and conditions.

Here endeth the lesson…

My blood is your blood,
Once it has been spilled.
My life is your life,
It’s for you I was killed.
My innocence is yours now,
It’s there for you to cling to
To feed your ignorance
And peace that it brings you.

Your apathy is my apathy
For it was my undoing.
Your cruelty is mine as well,
For you refuse it’s viewing.
Your greed is my greed
For I paid it’s full cost.
Your comfort, I’ll leave you
For mine’s long been lost!

You say it’s a need
When we know that it’s not!
It’s an ill planted seed,
But it’s all they you’ve got!

My fear is your fear
For it’s tied to your will.
My life is your life,
To have your gluttonous fill.
My hope belongs to you,
One more thing you can steal.
My pain is mine alone,
For you don’t think I can feel!

You say it’s god granted,
That it’s mankind’s right.
But that seeds ill-planted,
It’s less true, and more trite!
There is no good reason,
That you can ever give
For unneeded domination,
So you can excessively live!

Your heart is my heart,
For it’s my blood that now feeds it.
Poisoning it’s arteries
And hopefully, will disease it!
Forgive my ill wishes,
But I feel your aggression,
I don’t much like being
Treated as a possession.

You say it’s your choice,
And you will never change.
It’s good that you have a voice
To state your ignorant claims.
Some of our voices,
Get lost in the translation
And they aren’t given
So much consideration!

My tears are your tears
Garnishing your reasoning,
My death is your death,
To bitter the seasoning.
My compassion is yours,
Since you’ve none of your own.
And you have let the seeds
Of ignorance be sewn.

You say it’s a need,
But I say that it’s greed!
You say it’s god given,
I say you won’t be forgiven.

I speak for the voiceless,
The lives we can’t give back!
A steward to the battered!
What do you say to that?