A Purpose Driven Rage – The Page!

The Purpose of This Purpose

Once upon an existential crisis, Rob went in search of a number of things. One, was a search for purpose. Some sense of this direction, no matter how great or small, was all that was being sought. A very modest request I thought, and so I journeyed to uncover the answers to the questions that I had been taunted and haunted by as of late. This is the initial result of said journey, a two part post that went up on the blog, and have now become a page all their own!

Part 1

So I have been in self reflection mode and less in the angry hippie mindset as of late, but I found that the angry hippie is never resting. That mental status can be activated with the mere mention of some choice phrases. For instance, I was having coffee the other day with my friend Stephanie at a little local coffee and pastry place, and suddenly it was as if fate was pushing me towards the realization that the path I am to follow and focus on is the path of the angry hippie. What can I say, I was in self reflection mode, I may be over analyzing the situation, but I will let you all decide that.

So in this reflective state, I have been wondering about my purpose. Angie filled me in on my purpose as defined in a Numerological sense, which seemed to fit into place with my angry hippie goals. And then in the coffee house, I realized that perhaps the universe was trying to back that up with a few weird coincidental happenstances all landing me full on in angry hippie mode. First off, as we were at the counter ordering our coffee, I noticed a sign that said the coffee place was looking for a baker. It just so happened that Stephanie is a baker looking for a job in that field, and she did not notice the sign, I did. I pointed it out to her, and at the bottom of the notice, it stated to inquire of David.

David just happened to be sitting next to the counter and when Stephanie asked about the position, she and Dave sat down for an initial inquiry type interview. This left me all by my lonesome to pick a table. I looked around the room, and out of the many available seats I chose a small table for two against the wall across from a table of four older than me folks with pages and notebooks scattered about along the large surface. Stephanie, who I had met up with specifically so we could talk, was now otherwise engaged so I was left with no one to converse with. So my mind began to wander around the room…as did my ears. Not on purpose, I was not trying to eavesdrop on anyone, it just sort of happened that way.

It’s funny how the mind works. Not just the mind, but also how the universe works. (Though admittedly, that whole universe thing could just be the mind thing again.) Had I not been recently dashed against the rocks of personal failure and had not been steeped in the self reflection mode that I had been wandering through, I may not have picked up on any of this as anything more than mere coincidence. But as I noticed the numerous things that had to fall into place for me to be where I was at that exact moment in time, with the existential questions of purpose in my mind that I was plagued with, had to be more than coincidence. I could only take away that it was fate trying to shine it’s guiding light into my eyes. For, of all the people gathered in the coffee house that morning, I could not imagine a worse person to have sat next to the group of folks that I sat next to, other than me.

Bits of conversation began to float through my ears as I glanced around in my secluded boredom and contemplative consciousness, and I heard things from the table. Things like, ‘foster children’, ‘mentoring’, ‘immersion programs’, and ‘Kingdom Ministries’. Suddenly the angry hippie in me activated and I could not help but let as much of their conversation make it’s way into my ears as was able. Now when I talk about the ‘angry hippie’ I am more talking about the way I look at the world now, rather than an adopted personality change that I undergo. For instance, I do not believe that your average person would have been taken aback by the combination of these statements (Mainly because I do not think your average person would be eavesdropping on the tables around them, but I was bored and tired and ultimately uninterested in being in my own head for the moment.)

Now I probably would have quickly abandoned this invasive task pretty early after the start, had I not heard another choice statement, early in their dialog. ‘But isn’t this against the law?’ the gentlemen at the table asked, forcibly filling his voice with mock concern. ‘We’ve had to use some creative language with the organization to work around the laws.’ Sealed! Angry Hippie is on and raging!!

These people were planning multi level systems and structures, either being put into place, or at least planning to be put into place, to specifically target indoctrinating foster children through mentors and foster parents. They took notes about different levels of commitment they could coerce church members into, and they spoke about the ‘billions of years they would be giving these kids with Christ’ with proud smiles painted across their faces. So proud that they were creatively circumventing the law for Jesus, that they talked about how they could grow the scope of this project. Now I know that some people still do not understand the angry hippie activation at this convoluted conversation, and some would even argue that they are trying to do something good for these kids. Bullshit.

You see, over the span of the half an hour plus that I sat listening to these plans, I never once heard any person at the table voice any concern about the lives these kids would have in the here and now, beyond the immersion programs that would force this twisted Christian ideology onto these unsuspecting children who are merely looking to be loved. And some may say that they will be loved! Eternally… by Christ. Right. Not what I was talking about, or what they were looking for, so go peddle that piece of shit argument elsewhere. Indoctrinating, by definition, means making someone learn to accept a set of beliefs uncritically. Who needs critical thinking, anyways? Certainly not children! And this kind of mental manipulation cannot be unpleasant or harmful for kids or using these kinds of tactics on children would be illegal…oh, wait. Well, I mean, really illegal. Like where the language of the law is written so that you can not just easily sidestep it with some creative wordplay.

And to that end, what people are you attracting to your programs? You are not concerned with who would make a good parent, or who would provide a good home life. You are only concerned with who could be the most effective dogma enforcer on these innocent children. Well fuck you and your twisted ministries’ mission! Fostering is a huge responsibility, that is NEVER, EVER to be taken lightly or for any other reason than to provide that bond and love to a child whose life is missing it. It should simply be about this life here and what you can provide for them now. The love, shelter, and understanding they need to grow and find their path in this life. Every parent, should want their child to find their way, not force them in the way they feel most comfortable with their child going. These immersion programs are not exactly of that same mindset. And lets be clear…there is a huge difference in offering guidance and advice as a child develops, and indoctrinating them beyond reason. One is mindful, the other is mind-fucking!

And what if these children cannot learn to accept these force fed beliefs…a good question that will pick up with part two of this tale of purpose and rage. More of this rant to come!

Part 2

Admittedly it’s kind of an odd feeling when you realize that your life’s purpose is to be one of anger. Though it could be that this oddness comes with any realization of purpose and was not specifically tied into the path of rage. I mean it is possible that even if I had realized that my life’s purpose was to be one of petting puppies then I am speculatively certain that an oddness (could be the same one, could be a different one) would also accompany this realization. (I will also interject that if puppy petting is a perfectly acceptable purpose in life, I may have gotten a bit ripped by getting anger, but whatever…) This digression of a realization was not one I came to while I was sitting in the coffee shop that morning listening to the kingdom ministries’ misfits talk of illegally indoctrinating foster children through their immersion mentoring programs and scripture forcing foster parents, but it was one that I felt I would mention just the same. And as it resulted from this overall experience of purpose definition, it became more relevant than I initially had thought it would be.

No, to be honest the only thing that I thought about in the coffee shop was that I needed to focus on these dogma dealing dickwits and their illicit plans to steal all these children’s souls for salvation. You see, unlike the compassionless Christ table, I was actually considering the life that these kids would be subjected to on this plane. The lives of forced servitude at the altar of the Jesus myth and his fucked up flock of brainwashing sociopaths. As I posed at the end of the first post No rest for the angry – A purpose driven rage Part 1, what if these children cannot learn to accept these force fed beliefs? You see, not only do I believe that this kind of indoctrination of children is basically abuse, but I believe that they would suffer even more abuse at the hands of their oppress…um, I mean ‘saviors’ should they resist these teachings. Anyone wanting to argue that this kind of mental manipulation of children is not abusive, see the movie Jesus Camp and then try to tell me differently!

But these pious people were not sharing in my concern for the children’s lives, for they had their greedy sights set on their souls and that always trumps the here and now in ensuring quality of life. Who needs the life to be anything but subservient, when that guarantees such a glorious afterlife. And add a dash or two of suffering, and your payoff is sure to be that much greater beyond the pearly gates. Get locked in a closet until you accept the many miracles of our savior and Lord Jesus by your adopted parents, and you get like the good cable with the premium movie channels in your afterlife townhome. Get regular beatings with old testament tools of the trade because you fail to unflinchingly accept the scripture as the infallible word of God in your foster home, and get the jacuzzi suite upgrade in your afterlife apartment to soak away the anguish that it took to get you here in the first place.

Maybe I am getting so worked up over this bullshit because, as I sought a purpose to my life, I saw these people using their purpose to steal away an innocence from and disable critical thinking capabilities in unsuspecting children. And I was sickened by them. Perhaps it was because I was being guided towards the purpose of fighting these kinds of people with their manipulative goals, and already I found myself outnumbered and outorganized. Seriously, they had notebooks and clipboards, pages of notes and dozens of writing utensils…meanwhile, I’ve got nothing to write on or with, one dude, and three cups of coffee as I struggle to keep my sleep deprived mind from dropping any of the data I would later need to recall to make this story more than a memory. But I maintained and retained as only the angry hippie could. I couldn’t let down these kids.

To be even more honest, I have to marvel at the irony of the situation, as well. I mean, really, I am not a fan of children. Overall, I tend to view them quite harshly in contrast to the overpopulation problem that the planet is suffering from and though it’s really not their fault in the least, and I realize this fact, I still do not like them any less. But even though I am not a fan, that doesn’t mean I am going to just stand back and watch them be ruthlessly abused by this system of control. Partly because it is the right thing to do, and partly because as I look around at the madness that has gripped the masses in the form of religious ideology, I have to wonder how bad this problem would be if generations of this kind of pre-pubescent propagandizing for Christ hadn’t been societally structured and instituted so many years ago.

I have to wonder if through true education we could combat this wave of indoctrination and effectively deprogram these kids, giving them back their ability to think freely and for themselves. Don’t get me wrong, I dislike having the little fuckers running around, but if they are going to be here, they might as well be open minded, free thinking little fuckers who get to find their paths and make their own decisions when they have the capabilities to do so. Give the little fuckers a chance! – is going to be my new mantra until things like this Kingdom Ministries shit is shut the fuck down for good! Make no mistake about it people, religion is a business! One of the largest businesses in the world, and this organization needs millions to keep the billions funneling through, and they will peddle and spoon feed you whatever shit they need to keep you signing those checks over to their cause. It’s a corporation operating outside the best interest of the public, and ultimately undermining the welfare of the masses. Perhaps it’s time we shut their shit down!

This thoughtful consideration they have given to circumvent the laws in place to protect the children, shows where their true concern lies. They are not doing any of this for the children, despite what these twisted dickwits tell themselves at night. They are doing this to improve their own standing with their dogma daddy upstairs who has kept them cowering to ‘his will’ since they were probably the same age as the kids whose souls they are collecting today. Turn in 100 innocent souls to Jesus and get the deluxe Cuisinart and complete kitchenette combo set in your pearly gated community retreat. Turn in 500 souls to the devourer of children’s essence, and Jesus will throw in the rec-room hobby pack to boot! Remember, Jesus likes them young, the souls just taste better that way! Ha ha, just kidding. It’s not a taste thing…not only a taste thing. (cue the angry mob mail)

But seriously, folks, this is a huge problem, that needs to be confronted head on, and called out for what it truly is. The overstepping of boundaries by the church, while we keep turning away as they continue to prey on and abuse children. I guess since it is the church we just expect and accept that role and behavior from them now. As long as they keep their hands to themselves, and the abuse does not leave marks then it’s all good. We will continue to keep our heads down in the sand and buried until it all miraculously blows up in our faces. Well, fuck you kingdom scumbags, my head is out of the sand and my eyes are open as I keep my ears to the ground grabbing the signal you bastards can’t shut down! You see, you made me realize something that I know you never intended, too. Something, I had somehow forgotten in my mental deconstruction of the past few months…I’m the Angry Hippie, mother fuckers, and it’s game on!

Come on, people, don’t make me go it alone. Give the little fuckers a chance!